These are 5 affective steps that have worked for me, try, maybe they work for you as well
1. Keep a note of the numbers of all telemarketing companies calling you. When you get a call from someone, ask them to call you at your office number, and pass on the numbers from your stored list.
2. Pester the Woman to Marry you, and if it's a guy, and you are a guy, tell him you are gay, and you'd love to meet em.
3. If they are offering you a life insurance, tell them that you are dying of A.I.D.S and will want a cover of 10 Crores
4. If they are offering you a Free Credit Card, tell them that you only want the ones you have to pay for, you don't take free things from strangers
5. If the call is about your car insurance, tell them that you just had your car stolen, and want them to insure it because you forgot to renew your last insurance.
Trust me, they will not call you BACK.
G
Saturday, August 11, 2007
Have a Brilliant Idea, Get some Funding
This woman, found out, that she has consistent result if she stabs the monkeys in her lab, anywhere from 7 to 9 times.. watch the video, if you are an animal lover, beware.
Study: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys
Study: Multiple Stab Wounds May Be Harmful To Monkeys
Why Can't Blueline Drivers Drive Properly - Blame it on the Entrance Test
Excerpts found from our exclusive find of the Blueline Driver Licence Examination, (PS we are not trying to be racial)
DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
NOTE: Please do not shoot the person at the applikason kounter. He will give you the licen.
For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.
1. Last name:
(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
2. First name:
(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
3. Age:
(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable
5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right
6.Occupason:
(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_)Un-employed
(Check karet box)
7. Number of children libing in the household: ___
8. Number that are yours: ___
9. Mather name: _______________________
10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leave blank)
11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
12. Dental rekard:
(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other
__________ Give egjhakt color
(Check karet box)
13.Your thumb imparesson :
____________________________
(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy thumb impression also. Please provide your own thumb impression.)
PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS
Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.
NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.
WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THISs
DRIVING LICENSE APPLIKASON PHOROM
NOTE: Please do not shoot the person at the applikason kounter. He will give you the licen.
For phurthar instructions, see bottom applikason.
1. Last name:
(_) Yadav (_) Sinha (_) Pandey (_) Misra (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
2. First name:
(_) Ramprasad (_) Lakhan (_) Sivprasad (_) Jamnaprasad (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
3. Age:
(_) Less than phipty (_) Greater than phipty (_) Dot no
(Check karet box)
4. Sex: ____ M _____ P(F) _____ not sure _____not applicable
5. Chappal Size: ____ Lepht ____ Right
6.Occupason:
(_) Politison (_) Doodhwala (_) Pehelwaan (_) House wife (_)Un-employed
(Check karet box)
7. Number of children libing in the household: ___
8. Number that are yours: ___
9. Mather name: _______________________
10. Phather Name: ____________________ (If not no,leave blank)
11. Ejjucason: 1 2 3 4 (Circle highest grade completed)
12. Dental rekard:
(_) Ellow (_) Berownish-ellow (_) Berown (_) Belack (_) Other
__________ Give egjhakt color
(Check karet box)
13.Your thumb imparesson :
____________________________
(If you are copying from another applikason pharom, please do not copy thumb impression also. Please provide your own thumb impression.)
PELEASE DO NOT USE PHINGERS OF YOUR LEGS
Use thumb on your lepht hand only. If you dont have lepht hand, use your thumb on right hand. If you do not have right hand, use thumb on lepht hand.
NOTE : IF YOU DONT HAVE BOTH HANDS, YOU CANNOT DRIVE.
WE ARE VARY ISTRICT ABOUT THISs
Friday, August 10, 2007
A Saudi Interview for Visa to the US
A Saudi being interviewed at the US Embassy for Visa :-
COUNSEL: "Your name, please"?
SAUDI: "Salem".
COUNSEL: "Sex?"
SAUDI: "Six times a week".
COUNSEL: "I mean male or female?"
SAUDI: "Both male & female and sometimes even camels".
COUNSEL: "Holy cow!"
SAUDI: "Yes, cows & dogs too".
COUNSEL: "Man, isn't that hostile?"
SAUDI: "Horse Style, dog style, an style!
COUNSEL: "Oh dear!"
SAUDI: "Deer? No deer, they run too fast!
COUNSEL: "Your name, please"?
SAUDI: "Salem".
COUNSEL: "Sex?"
SAUDI: "Six times a week".
COUNSEL: "I mean male or female?"
SAUDI: "Both male & female and sometimes even camels".
COUNSEL: "Holy cow!"
SAUDI: "Yes, cows & dogs too".
COUNSEL: "Man, isn't that hostile?"
SAUDI: "Horse Style, dog style, an style!
COUNSEL: "Oh dear!"
SAUDI: "Deer? No deer, they run too fast!
Thursday, August 2, 2007
Some Sardar Jokes - Again
Remember I told you, how you could replace a blonde with a Sardar, and the joke remained the same, well here are some new funny ones.
----
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"
----
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"
----
Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said, I have some good news, the batteries and the Torch are OK
----
Sardar visits Chinese friend dying in hospital.
The Chinese friend just says "CHIN YU YAN" and dies.
Sardarji goes to China to find the meaning of his friend's last Words.
And finds It means "U R STANDNG ON the OXYGEN TUBE!"
----
A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a Sardarni painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket. Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.
She showed him the instructions on the tin, "For Best Results put on Two Coats"
----
Santa Singh MBBS
After finishing his MBBS, Dr. Santa Singh starts his Own practice.
He checked his first patient's Eyes, then the tongue, and finally the Ears using a torch.
Finally he said, I have some good news, the batteries and the Torch are OK
Microsoft Helps Taj Mahal to Move from Agra to Pune
No jokes, they can do anything, they even managed to launch Windows Vista at the Taj, and now supreme court wants to know why :)
Popoye's Mom
Remember the Sienfeld Episode, where George has a doll that looks like his mom, well this lady.. just reminded me of Popoye.
Girl Friends Rule
I have been working on some radical, funny, new t-shirt quotes, but this one, really took me by surprise..
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